


Coffee Confessions

by Lady_sb



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Developing Relationship, Drama & Romance, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Love and food, M/M, Other, Romance, Shower Sex, love and coffee, my own brand of smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:08:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27526657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_sb/pseuds/Lady_sb
Summary: This is the story of the relationship between Rafael Barba and Sonny Carisi, as told through coffee and chocolate.Or5 times Sonny brought Rafael coffee and Kit Kat + 1 time Rafael returned the favour.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 72





	1. Five

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings wonderful people, I bring to you my first 5+1 ^^ I was intrigued months ago by the idea of Sonny and Rafael telling their story as punctuated by coffee and Rafael's love of snacking. Eventually though it took on a life of its own and it became this relationship exploration which is always my favourite thing to write. 
> 
> It is also on purpose posted before the new season kicks off because I have this sinking feeling that this season is gonna royally get my goat so I want to put this up first. Part II will contain the stuff I'm more known for, over the weekend ^^ 
> 
> This one really is for Sarah, who has been listening to me hash this out and my grousing and going through the plot points together <3 She helps me through so many of my slumps and I am grateful. 
> 
> Also all the Kit Kat flavours mentioned here are real XD
> 
> Comments/kudos are so much love

***

_New York isn’t New York_  
_without you love_

***

**1\. Americano + Masuizumi Japan Sake Kit Kat**

Starting a new job, in a new office, was always a daunting experience. 

Sonny Carisi should know, he had been “starting” new jobs for around three months now. Yeah, it stung a little, but Sonny was made of tougher stuff than that, something he had to begrudgingly thank his sisters for. 

No, he knew who he was, even if that picture still had gaps that needed filling or pieces that needed readjusting. But the most valuable thing that the precinct merry-go-round had taught him was that food made the best hello to your new colleagues. 

“Doughnut holes?” Sonny waved the bag at Amanda as they walked to the DAs office, still finding it necessary to lope after her even though his legs were much longer. But that was her, walking so fast that her heels probably marked the pavement. 

He knew though that she would slow down once she had caught a whiff of the deep-fried pastry, the grease turning the paper bag translucent. After a month, Sonny had gotten pretty good at pegging who liked what at the precinct. 

For Amanda it was doughnut holes, liberally coated in cinnamon and nutmeg sugar, something in her identifying with the cozy sweetness with memories of home. 

Fin, tough man, had a soft spot for caramels, made with big flakes of whisky-smoked sea salt. Nick liked his pastry stuffed thick with guava paste and cheese. Liv wasn’t a sweets person, but she would never say no to a half-the-garden soup. 

Sonny had managed to catalogue this all, because something in him just knew that Manhattan SVU would be his home for the foreseeable future. But there was one blank spot and it was like an itch under his skin he couldn’t get to. 

Barba. He had no idea what Barba liked to snack on beyond chocolate covered coffee beans. 

And even then, he got a feeling that it was more of a stopgap measure, something to give him an instant hit so he could draft one more brief, go through one more case, before he would actually finally have to eat. 

Sonny looked up to him professionally, but didn’t indulge the other feeling hidden in the crook of that admiration. 

“Carisi, Rollins, what migraine inducer do you bring to me today?” Barba muttered, shuffling through the files on his desk, putting them in an order that only made sense to him. 

“He-said, she-said, and her daughter is in the mix somewhere too,” Amanda sighed, jumping when her phone suddenly buzzed. Lifting a finger to signal a pause, she walked out and closed the door.

Sonny tried his hardest not to fidget at suddenly being left alone with the prosecutor. His suit jacket suddenly felt too big on his shoulders, especially compared with Barba’s waistcoat that fit him like a second skin, silken crimson against his back. 

“You want to get started Carisi?” Barba said briskly. It snapped the threads of nervousness that Sonny was feeling, and he suddenly became cognisant of the feel of heated corrugated cardboard burning his palm. 

“Yeah, but first.” Sonny thrust the cup of coffee at Barba. “You look like you could need a pick-me-up Counselor.” 

Tilting his head, Barba accepted the cup with a nod of thanks before automatically bringing it up to nose. Sonny watched with a small twinge of pleasure as he watched Barba’s nostrils flare as he took in the smell, full-bodied with just a hint of acidity at the turn.

Sonny wasn’t sure what Barba’s coffee order was but he had chosen this afternoon to bring him an Americano. A good one from his favourite cafe that sat in between the precinct and Barba’s office. He knew that at this time of the afternoon, the other man would appreciate the pure liquid caffeine, not thinned out by dairy, but bulked up by water so that it would not be taken in two gulps. 

“ _Fortify yourself, it’s gonna be rough_ ” is what the drink said. 

“Thanks Carisi,” Barba took a sip and Carisi watched his lip swell a bit from the heat. But the coffee wasn’t the only thing he had up his sleeve, so to speak. 

“Here, you might like this too,” Carisi said as he handed over a familiar red packet that was two fingers long, but covered in words written in a language that none of them spoke. 

“What is it?” Barba said, turning it over in his palm in curiosity. “Chocolate?” 

“Yeah, a boozy one. I know you like your alcohol Barba, and I figured it would go well with the coffee,” Carisi said, doing his best to give a casual shrug. 

“Where on earth did you get this Carisi?” Barba said sitting down and putting his feet up on his table. Carisi was glad to see that his gift had the intended effect, making Barba relax his shoulders for probably the first time that day. 

“My sister, Gina, suddenly got it into her head that she likes these monthly snack box subscription things. She thinks it will help her on her diet by curbing her splurges but anyway.” Carisi sped up his rambling explanation when he saw Barba’s eyes start to glaze over. 

“I signed up so that she would get a better discount and now I get boxes every month filled with the most random assortment of candy so I just give it out,” Carisi finished, rubbing the back of his head. 

“Being a good brother huh,” Barba said, his words coming out a little softer than Carisi thought the ADA was capable of. Lifting his chin, he saw Barba unwrap the chocolate and his mouth automatically watered. He could smell the alcohol from where he was standing near the door, heady like white flowers and just a hint of lees. 

Barba took a tentative bite and licked a fragment of chocolate from his lip. 

“You are full of surprises Carisi,” Barba said, his voice much calmer now. Carisi grinned and gave a careless shrug. Inwardly, he was preening at the success of choosing the right thing to pluck at Barba’s buttons. 

“Sorry about that, shall we start?” Amanda said apologetically, walking back in with a shake of her blonde hair. 

“Right, from the top,” Barba took another swallow of coffee and grabbed his pen. Leaning over, Carisi put on his game face and pushed the lingering sweetness of their conversation out of his mind. 

**2\. Cafe Latte + Zunda Shake Kit Kat**

“Ready to order?” 

The waitress’ voice broke through Sonny’s reverie, like a mini-jolt that made him sit up straight in his chair. He had been listening with chin in hand to Rafael tell him stories about his early days as an ADA, letting that smoky tone wash over him punctuated by sparks when he got animated or annoyed. 

He would have probably given Sonny an eye-roll if the detective had told him that he was enraptured. 

Okay, maybe using that word in his mind was a sign to Sonny that he had probably been staring at Rafael a bit longer than was appropriate. But in his defense, he still had to pinch himself that he was actually on a date with the man. 

Not to brag, but it was their third date thank you very much. 

It had only taken Carisi about a month in SVU for him to realise that he was attracted to Barba. But gathering up the nerves to ask him out took at least another two. 

The funny things as, although the actual asking had been nerve racking, Sonny was confident as to his reasons why. 

Rafael’s values and what he stood for, found an echo in Sonny’s own views about justice and balance. Professionally it was why Sonny had wanted to be a lawyer, personally it was what he wanted in a partner. 

And when it came in a package that looked as good as Barba did, handsome features edged by tealights and eyes that never stopped shifting colour, and well…

Sonny was smitten. 

Another word he would never use in front of Barba, lest he wanted to be on the receiving end of another pronounced eye-roll with a snarky remark thrown in for good measure. 

“Steak, medium-rare with that Japanese peppercorn sauce.” 

“Same,” Sonny said, handing the waitress back the menus with a dimpled smile. He was so preoccupied with being polite that he missed the small smile that crossed Rafael’s face as he watched her becoming just the littlest bit flustered at Sonny’s attention. 

“So you were telling me about that article you wrote at Harvard? The one that got your professor mad at you,” Sonny took a sip of water and sat back in his chair. The funny thing was, Sonny couldn’t remember the last time he had enjoyed dates as much as this. 

They were colleagues sure, their most common interests couched in their work. But they were also just Sonny and Rafael, two people trying to see if they felt the same about each other. 

“Oh yes, because I disproved parts of his thesis,” Rafael responded with a slight laugh at the memory. He opened his mouth to elaborate only to frown when he felt something buzz in his pocket. 

“Sorry,” Rafael muttered, unlocking his phone so he could see who it was. From the way his brow pinched and his eyes darkened, Sonny could tell that their date was about to get cut short. 

“Shall I ask for the steaks to go then?” Sonny said, swallowing his disappointment and keeping his voice light. 

“Sorry Sonny, McCoy wants to see my brief on that congressman you caught, by morning,” Barba said, clearly exasperated. 

“Oh the guy cottaging underage boys?” Carisi made a face of disgust. 

“Yeah, no idea why McCoy couldn’t wait till tomorrow afternoon. I think he is getting squeezed by his superiors. Rain cheque?” Barba was apologetic even as he started to get ready to leave. 

Sonny knew the right thing to do would be to say yes and wave off Barba’s apologies. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t done it to other people before, one time even running off in the middle of a movie because Benson had called. 

But this time, a part of Sonny was unwilling to let the evening end. 

“Why don’t I come with you? With both of us going through it, we should be done faster,” Sonny offered without thinking. He was delighted though when Barba looked pleasantly surprised. 

“You don’t have to Sonny,” Barba started. Carisi shrugged and waved the waitress over. 

“It’s good training Rafael. Why don’t you go ahead and I will be at your office in a sec. If I am fast enough the steaks should still be edible,” Sonny joked, but he didn’t miss the appreciative look Barba shot him. 

Luckily the steaks were still okay by the time Carisi got to Barba’s office. He had even managed to get them both coffees considering that it was just approaching midnight. 

“Here you go,” he said, handing Barba a latte. Sonny was hoping that with his help it meant that they wouldn’t have to stay that long and he didn’t want Rafael to be up half the night. 

“And I know you are disappointed we couldn’t get dessert, so…” Sonny slid over a familiar looking chocolate bar, but this time the wrapper was a bright, almost lurid green this time. 

“Gina is still making you buy those snack boxes I see,” Rafael said with a smirk, but he still reached for it. “What is this?” 

“Vanilla milkshake with young green soybean paste.” Sonny laughed at the appalled look on Rafael’s face. “I tasted this one, it’s better than you think.” 

“I don’t know how much I trust your taste buds. You consume an unhealthy amount of sundried tomatoes,” Barba commented archly but he tore the plastic open anyway and took a small nibble. He didn’t say anything but Sonny smiled inwardly when the ADA finished it in a couple of bites. 

They worked in companionable silence for a couple of hours until Sonny couldn’t stand it anymore and stood up to stretch his arms to the ceiling. But unless he was wrong, they were almost done. 

“You know Sonny, thanks to the coffee, I won’t be able to sleep,” Barba said slowly, a sharp contrast to him tapping away furiously as he added his final lines. 

“Do you want me to get you something to sleep?” Sonny asked off-handedly, taking some notes in his frantic scribble. 

“Sonny.” 

His name was all the warning he got before looking up and saw Rafael’s face a hairsbreadth away from his own. A pause, and Rafael leaned in for a kiss, long and deep, the intent clear. Sonny could taste the unctuous sweetness of the white chocolate and the barest hint of salt. 

Sonny cupped Rafael’s face and felt stubble under his fingertips and took in his breath that felt like a kick of ice in his chest, which melted into a slow heat. 

“Maybe you can come over to my place and help me sleep,” Rafael murmured into the skin of his lips when they broke apart. 

How could Sonny say no to an invitation like that? 

**3\. Gourmet Mocha + Kit Kat Snax**

Sonny always thought he had time. 

He always thought that they both had time. 

Now, if the rumours were to be believed, he only had a couple of hours. 

Throughout the entire duration of his walk over to One Hogan Place, Sonny kept asking himself the same questions he had been asking over the past year over and over again. 

There had been more dates, there had even been a lot of amazing sex. But somehow the both of them seemed reluctant to take it further. A lot of the hesitation had been Barba’s, especially when faced with all the complications of dating someone from the squad. 

His own uncertainty fed Sonny’s insecurity and soon any idea of a relationship got further and further away from them. But at the back of his mind Sonny always knew he wanted to give it another shot, knew that sometimes maybe the timing just didn’t work. 

Barba had resigned. He was leaving. And suddenly the only time he had was the present. 

So Sonny did the only thing he could think of to reconnect. He would bring him coffee, and they would talk. _Really_ talk. 

He had chosen to get them both mochas from a fancy little shop that he knew Barba loved. It was expensive, 12 dollars a cup, but as gestures went it was the equivalent of Carisi shouting about it from the rooftops. 

If he closed his eyes, he could still picture Rafael’s expression of bliss when he had taken Sonny there. Taken him after the first night they had slept together, making Sonny wonder what his measure of accountability was for the flush in Rafael’s cheeks. 

“Barba?” Sonny knocked on the door after putting the two cups on Carmen’s desk. He looked at the lettering on the glass and couldn’t help but feel a punch to the gut at the thought that it would be someone else’s name there soon. 

That feeling was amplified when he swung the door open and saw Barba’s broad back, slightly hunched over the brown boxes he was packing his books in. 

“Carisi? What are you doing here?” Barba asked, straightening up and turning around, a mild look of bewilderment on his face. And for some reason that question made Carisi feel unbearably sad. 

“Did you think I was going to let you go without a goodbye Rafael?” Carisi said, accompanying his words with a smile so it wouldn’t sound like a rebuke. “I mean, it was so crazy before your trial, the rest of the squad barely spoke to you.” 

“Yeah, sorry. I guess the only person I managed to see these days is Liv,” Barba replied, moving around as he put away more of his things. Carisi’s hands itched to stop them, to tell him that everything was already rightfully in its place. 

“I am sorry, you had to go through that,” Sonny finally settled on, running a hand through his hair to settle his nerves. During the trial, he had texted Barba several times, messages of support, offers to maybe help out in ways that wouldn’t make things worse. 

Only to get one word replies and sometimes radio silence. 

“Thanks Carisi, I mean, I chose it right?” Barba said, trying his hardest to not sound bitter. But it was still there, like curlicues of smoke after a dampened fire. “Surely with your background you would have some issue with what I did.” 

Sonny’s body trembled as a current ran through him, whether it was anger or embarrassment he wasn’t sure. 

He shook his head and without thinking put his hand over Rafael’s, not wanting him to compare himself to some self-righteous mirage of the detective. To have that as his last memory of him. 

“My mom, a few years ago, got pregnant. The doctor said the baby had a heart condition and wouldn’t survive more than a few days,” Sonny said, his voice slowly turning hoarse with the memory. 

“She never told my dad, and she… we both… cried for a week after. But that baby wouldn’t have known anything but pain. So, no judgement Rafael, please never think that.” 

Sonny had to turn away, it had happened while they were apart and even now the very thought of it sat heavy, like dark shards lodged in his stomach. But again, he felt the frustration that he had unloaded this on him now, that they had foolishly wasted time pretending there was nothing between them. 

“Dominick.” 

Carisit turned back and Barba’s eyes were deep with sympathy and something else. A shared understanding that sometimes the choices you made in life were not always yours, and the peace you had to make with that. 

Barba wasn’t there yet. Sonny wanted to be there when he did. 

Rafael didn’t say anything beyond the detective’s name. He didn’t need to. The squeeze of his fingers said enough. 

Sonny opened his mouth to say something when a sharp rap at the door made Rafael jump back, abrupt and skittish as he pulled at his shirt and smoothed his suspenders. Sonny was about to ask what was wrong when a deep voice interrupted him. 

“Hey Rafael, I booked the moving van for six later.” Sonny stood there stock-still as a handsome, older man with a magnificent sweep of silver-grey hair walked through the door with two coffee cups in his hand. 

Then walked right up to Barba and kissed him lovingly on the cheek. 

“Thanks Edward,” Barba said stiffly, giving him a kiss back before taking a cup from him. “Edward, this is Detective Sonny Carisi from SVU.” 

“Oh Rafael has told me about you. Nice to finally put a face to the name,” Edward said, giving Sonny the firm handshake of a dyed-in-the-wool businessman. Rafael had told him about that kind of deliberate handshake, a McKinsey handshake he had called it that was typical of consultants, just the lightest of squeezes so that you remembered the person giving it. 

Sonny also remembered Rafael telling him he hated that kind of handshake. 

“Thank you. I just came to give my goodbyes. I’ve worked with ADA Barba for a long time and was just wondering if he needed some help,” Sonny replied, putting on his best genial expression. 

“You don’t need to Carisi. Edward here is helping me pack up.” Barba was back to his brisk self, the earlier moment forgotten. 

“Yes, I will go get more boxes. Nice to meet you Detective Carisi,” Edward said, giving him the briefest of nods before heading to the outer office. 

“Is there anything else?” Barba asked quietly. Carisi shook his head. 

“Just good luck Counselor. It has been great knowing and working with you. Thanks for all the help,” Sonny said, in a voice that he wasn’t sure he recognised. 

The utter pablum of his words made Sonny cringe. 

“You take care Carisi. Don’t give Liv too many white hairs okay?” 

One last parting shot, bubble-wrapped with the affection that they used to share. Sonny swallowed hard and stuck his hands deep in his pockets, wrapping his fingers around its contents. 

“Sure, bye Barba.” Sonny squared his shoulders and offered Rafael his hand.

Rafael shook Sonny’s hand and was taken aback when he felt the sharp crinkles of a familiar foil packet pressed into the dips of his palm. But he didn’t look down, kept his poker face until Sonny let go. Waited until Sonny was gone, only then did he open his hand. 

He wasn’t prepared. 

Wasn’t prepared for the crush of emotions that came with Sonny’s simple gift. 

Of the memories of them in this very office that he was about to leave. Of the times where Sonny had pressed on him something to eat, snacks or takeout, or staying late so that he didn’t have to. 

Sonny’s concern, his playfulness, all symbolised in the red packet in his hand. 

And unbeknownst to him, Sonny had left Rafael with the same question that he himself had been contemplating. Ultimately, whose fault had it been? Or maybe it was nobody’s. 

Why was it that he, a person who was usually so sure of himself, suddenly felt like leaving was a mistake? 

“You okay Rafael?” 

Rafael blinked and mentally gave himself a shake, brushing his pensiveness like dust from his shoulders. He smiled at Edward who was standing in his doorway, holding up a couple of boxes looking like a well-dressed U-Haul man. 

“Yeah I am. Why don’t you set those down here,” Barba said, patting his table as he stacked more of his books. 

Outside, a few feet away from Barba’s office, Sonny threw both cups of the expensive coffee in the trash with more force than he probably needed to. 

**4\. Cappuccino + Bellflower Shingen Mochi Kit Kat**

“ _Hey Barba. It’s Carisi here. Sorry to bother you out of blue. Well, I heard you were back in town and was hoping that you kept your number. I hope so, otherwise I will be asking a completely random person out for coffee otherwise. Feel free to ignore me though, but just wanted to catch up_ ” 

“ _....._ ” 

“ _I won’t say I won’t be offended if you ignore me though. I practise your summations in the mirror for cripessake_ ” 

“ _Sonny? You kept my number?_ ” 

“ _Rafael! Hey! Yeah I did, because well…_ ” 

“ _Are you free for coffee this afternoon? Around 4 at that cafe you like, Box Kite? The one on the Upper West Side?_ ” 

“ _What could you possibly have to talk about with me Carisi?_ ” 

“ _....._ ” 

“ _A lot. There are a lot of things to say. There is a lot I want to talk about and it is not easy to do this over text. So whaddya say Barba?_ ”

“ _......_ ” 

“ _Barba?_ ” 

“ _See you at 4 Carisi_ ” 

***

Sonny spotted him by the window the minute he pulled up to the place in his Uber. This silhouette was different, softened by the beard and thickness of his hair, but it had been a sight that Sonny hadn’t realised he had yearned for. 

“Hey, am I late?” Sonny said, his coat flying out behind him as he pulled out the chair. Barba shook his head but Sonny still frowned when he saw the empty cup in front of him, the dried milk foam clinging to the rim. 

“Let me get my drink.” Sonny got up and hefted his phone in his hand as he walked to the counter. He was back a few minutes later with cappuccinos for both of them, somehow knowing that Rafael would probably want another. 

“Thanks,” Rafael mumurmed, turning the handle of the cup to himself. However, the both of them said nothing beyond that, choosing instead to look down at their drinks and their phones. 

Yet in between that, Sonny would look at his ex-boyfriend from downcast eyes. 

He was older, they both were. But Rafael still carried with him an intensity that was bruising. Clean-shaven or not, dressed-up or dressed-down, prosecutor or human-rights advocate, it didn’t diminish that. 

Sonny wondered what it was Rafael saw when he looked at him now. Whether he looked at him differently because he was the ADA now and Rafael was the citizen. 

“What is it with you and the coffee Carisi?” Rafael asked, a familiar half-smile across his face. It was as if he had snipped the awkwardness that bound the two of them and Sonny let out a huff of a laugh. 

“It was the easiest way to get to you Rafael. Plus,” Sonny shrugged, “it is just in me to feed people. My Ma taught me that.”

He let out a small laugh again and then hesitated. 

“I associate that smell with you. I still do, only to feel disappointed when the person holding the cup is not you.” 

Honest. Straight to the point. It made the both of them still. 

“Did you not like it?” 

“I did, it was just confusing to me at first. But it made more sense when you asked me out,” Barba said as he took a sip, flicking at a bit of froth with his thumb. He took a deep breath and held it, before letting it out with a question. 

“Is that what this is? Are you asking me out again Sonny Carisi?” Barba said softly, finally looking up and meeting Sonny’s eyes. It was too direct and Sonny found himself turning away. 

It was more complicated than that. Things in his life were in general more complicated than that. Again a new job, this time not as easily handled with food, new dynamics on a whole with Liv, Fin, Kat and Amanda. 

So it genuinely surprised him when the realisation hit that his feelings about Rafael were exactly the same. How it struck him when he stood on the other side of Liv’s door about to go in and heard a very familiar voice. 

Something new and a second chance. Sonny could not help but admire the reflection of the mirror image. 

“Look Rafael, I am not here to pressure you into anything. We’ve both got a lot going on now and I am not here, _this_ , it is not me attempting to start things again.” 

Sonny tapped a fingernail on the side of the cup, his focus on the filigree of the spoon as drew even, slow breaths. 

“But I am here to tell you that I want to be first in line when you do want to try again,” Sonny said, his voice strong as he met Rafael’s look with one of his own. He watched the change in the older man’s microexpressions and knew that he wasn’t expecting that. 

“I don’t want a whole year to go by and have you find someone else. I’m here to stake my place. If you will let me,” Sonny finished. 

Sonny would never really know what Rafael saw when he looked at him, but he knew that there he would never come across eyes like his again. 

“How much time do you have?” Rafael asked, sounding more like his old self but the undercurrent of light was hard to miss. It made the fatigue Sonny almost constantly carried with him these days lift an inch off his chest. 

Instead of answering, Sonny drew out something from his pocket and pushed it across the table. The red packet this time was speckled with small white flowers that matched the pattern on the ADA’s tie. 

“I have as much as you need.”

And he did. 

**5\. Nescafe Dolce Gusto + Sakura Japanese Sake Kit Kat**

“How is it possible that for two people who drink as much as coffee as we do, neither of us actually have a proper coffee machine?” 

Rafael looked up from his phone as he walked into the living room and came face-to-face with Sonny holding a Nescafe coffee capsule. 

“Honestly Rafi, I thought better of you,” Sonny clucked his tongue, which made Barba give a snort. 

“Did you have a stint in Starbucks I am not aware of Sonny? Didn’t think so,” Rafael smirked when Sonny started to bluster that he did know how to make a proper cup of coffee. 

“If you are like this at the beginning of quarantine, I dread to think what it will be like at the end,” Sonny said pointedly, but it was rather undermined by the way he pulled Rafael closer. 

Rafael laughed at first only to have it peter out, which reflected exactly how Sonny was feeling too. They were already thinking of living together when the pandemic hit and now their timeline had effectively been moved up for them. 

Because of that Sonny was still ferrying stuff back and forth from his apartment, which also led simultaneously to gaps and doubles in their kitchen and their bedroom. It was why they somehow had ended up with two cheese graters but not enough hangers. 

However, the first thing that Sonny had insisted they buy together was a massive recliner. A tan monstrosity that looked like it could be a seat for a giant, leather and ridiculously expensive. 

Rafael had wondered why Sonny didn’t just take their pooled money and buy two chairs. Until two weekends ago, technically their first Sunday together under the same roof, and Sonny had curled up next to him, head on Rafael’s chest, nose buried in his shirt and he just fell asleep. 

That was how they ended up later that afternoon, Sonny drifting in and out of sleep as Rafael read a book. Two cups, half-full of the coffee that Sonny still drank under protest, a couple of pink and blue torn chocolate wrappers from the treats that came in their last grocery order before the city went quiet. 

“Warm,” Sonny murmured, his fingers sneaking under the buttons of Rafael’s blue linen shirt to touch the skin of his stomach. 

Today had been unusually rainy for fall and while that tended to emphasise the less savoury aspects of New York’s streets, a recent cold snap had managed to worm its way into the cracks of the city smog, widening and splintering so that the only smell in the air was tar and sun warmed brick. 

It was almost enough to make Rafael forget what was out there. Both men knew it that they were facing a marathon, of scares and the heavy scent of disinfectant. How life at its core had changed and in a way that made them both grieve. 

“Rafi, what will you do when this is over?” Sonny suddenly asked quietly. Rafael turned the question over in his head as he put his book away. 

“Catch a show on Broadway. I guess I took for granted that I could go whenever I wanted. Now,” Rafael sighed, “I have no idea when it will be open again. You?” 

“Go to the movies. I miss the movies. I want to go back and just do a whole day marathon. Or an all-night marathon full of cheesy B-movies that I will force on you and during the boring bits we can make out in the back.” 

Rafael laughed. 

“Yeah, wouldn’t that be nice and a massive misdemeanour for Manhattan’s latest ADA.” 

Sonny chuckled and the joy was like a current passing through him. “God, work is going to be weird after this. Not that it wasn’t already.” 

As verbose as he was, Sonny sometimes was surprisingly reticent. Rafael got that, understood when he came home frustrated with the squad, contrite when he spoke to his boyfriend about how he used to treat him. 

“I _get_ it Rafael. I get it now how annoyed you must have been at us, how poisonous that blue loyalty is at times. I get it and…” 

Rafael had kissed him then, swallowing his regrets and apologies.

For months he had watched him, the cop from Staten Island become a Manhattan ADA, slipping into the role like how he slipped into his suits. Watched him as he felt pride, worry, irritation, all bound together with this need to be there for him through it all. 

Something he wanted to do for longer than a few months. 

Early on there was no denying the sparks between them, momentary flickers that were too easily extinguished by real world insecurities. They were still there now, but in softer focus, powdered candlelight that burned longer. 

It wasn’t the current situation that made Rafael feel this way. No, the only thing this awful situation brought was clarity, crystal realisations of what he always wanted to feel or at least some variation of it. 

“Marry me,” Rafael murmured, the proposal tucked into the stands of Sonny’s pewter hair. 

“Sure,” Sonny replied quietly, and Rafael felt just a hint of pressure where his hand rested on his ribcage. Rafael kept his breath at the back of his throat as Sonny looked up, wondering what he would see. Hesitation? Regret? Excitement?

Instead, he found none of that. What he did find was Sonny looking at him like he always had, as if he had always known. 

“But, let’s get a coffee machine first kay?” Sonny said with the slightest of smiles, pushing himself up to brush his lips over Rafael’s. But the older man was having none of that and cupped Sonny’s face so he could bring him closer. 

How was it although he was the one asking the question, Rafael felt as if he were the one saying yes. 

Yes, let’s get a coffee machine. 

Yes, to the rest of our lives.


	2. + One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this part, I hope you all like reading it too, and I thank you if you do <3

***

_What is love? What is a lie?_  
_I don’t understand…_  
_All I know is that it is only you I love_

***

**+1. Georgia Emerald Mountain Blend Premium + Gold Caramel Banana Kit Kat**

When Rafael opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was lights. 

The first thing he felt was Sonny’s breath on his neck, gentle, slow puffs that didn’t change when he moved, even as the hand on his hip instinctively flexed.

He was warm, a welcome furnace because Barba was cold. He never did well in the cold. 

He was a Cuban American from Miami of course he didn’t. 

His gangly mess of a husband did better despite having almost no body fat, which was frankly annoying. So Rafael reasoned that keeping him warm was the least he could do. It was the first week of February when winter flurries showed their true colours and turned vindictive, and sometime during the middle of the night the automated heat had turned off, waiting for the room to cool down enough for it to kick in again. 

He couldn’t blame Sonny for waking him up though, it was the jetlag that did that. Hence why he found himself staring out the window because they had forgotten to draw the curtains before they fell asleep. 

Rafael thought that being a New Yorker meant that he would be blase to cityscapes, buildings like familiar concrete monoliths, the lights stacked like Lego bricks. But Tokyo didn’t look like any other place, the building reliefs were sharper set at futuristic angles, the sides traced out in neon. 

And from his position on the bed, Barba could just make out Tokyo Skytree in the corner, rising out of the ground like an alien needle piercing the night sky. 

“Damn,” Barba said, lacing his fingers with Sonny as he tried to figure out what to do next. He hated this type of jetlag, the type that lulled you into a false sense of security and then _surprise!_ it woke you up at three am like some over-caffeinated security guard. 

But he couldn’t get that mad. When they were picking destinations, the only mandate was to get as far away from the US as possible. Two years of almost exclusively staring at the walls of your apartment did tend to fill you with wanderlust. 

Add another year before they felt it was safe to travel and both of them were pretty much clawing at the door. The only smallest, tiniest of upsides this fucking pandemic had given them was that because they were stuck, it had allowed them to squirrel away enough funds to go on a proper, no expenses spared, honeymoon. 

They deserved it after all, making up for the fact that they had been only allowed to have a total of five people at their wedding.

And like all their good ideas, it came from the horniest part of Sonny’s mind.

“Rafi, will you take me to a Tokyo Love Hotel one day?” Sonny had asked out of the blue one day while he had been buttering his toast. 

“Are you really suggesting we go to another country just to have sex?” Rafael answered, peering over the rim of his glasses. 

“Nah, I really wanna go for the fancy Kit Kats. The sex is just a bonus,” Sonny said, winking as he tried to go for suave only to have the attempt land somewhere earnest and lead in screwball comedy. 

It must have worked because Rafael booked their plane tickets the same day. The expression on Sonny’s face had been worth the back-breaking 17-hour plane trip and the janky sleeping hours. 

And yes, they did spend a night at a love hotel in an entirely red room with a heart-shaped bed, mirrors on the ceiling and where Sonny had insisted they make love in front of a working fireplace. 

For Rafael, the sex wasn’t the issue, the velour carpeting was. 

Rafael stretched under the blanket when it became clear to him that sleep wasn’t coming and buried his face into the plush collar of the hotel bathrobe. 

Luckily the hotel he had chosen for the rest of the trip, the Aman Tokyo, was the complete opposite. Something that was obvious from the black Mercedes that fetched them, complete with a white-gloved driver that didn’t bat an eye at the seediness of their pick-up point. 

The hotel itself was a modernist study in camphor wood and basalt that made him, a lapsed Catholic, believe that this is what heaven must look like. 

Gently dislodging Sonny’s hand, Rafael tried his best to slide quietly off the bed, wincing when a chilly blast raised a line of gooseflesh up his arms. He jumped when a hand suddenly reached out and grabbed him by the wrist. 

“Where you goin? S’early,” came Sonny’s admonition, fuzzy with sleep and muffled by the pillow. 

“Shower,” Rafael answered back, his voice hushed. His heart did a small flutter when he looked down and was reminded again that his husband slept in the nude. Well, except for the Grand Complications Patek Philippe on his wrist, in royal blue sunburst because Rafael thought it matched Sonny’s eyes. 

Rafael wore a matching one in platinum because he reasoned that their relationship had been unusual, why not their engagement jewellery? 

Also, the watches for Rafael were generational, an investment. It talked about tying their future together in a way that went beyond them. When he had picked it out, in his mind’s eye he could see it on Sonny’s wrist, his strong arm securely holding up a boy that had his dark blonde hair and Rafael’s green eyes. Holding him safe as he bent over a bowl and tried to teach him how to cook. 

A thought that before that moment Rafael had never had in his life. He supposed that was what buying an engagement watch that was the equivalent of a downpayment on a house did to you. 

Damn Patek’s marketing. 

“Gonna join.” Sonny used Rafael’s hand as leverage to sit up, scratching at his chest and rubbing his eyes. A month off from the DAs office, because if he didn’t they would have been forced to pay _him_ , had allowed Sonny the freedom to completely abandon his razor and his barber. 

It made Rafael feel torn. Put-together ADA Carisi in his impeccably tailored vests and perfectly slicked hair made Rafael want to force him to his knees. Current House Husband Sonny with his silver brown hair in unruly waves and a scruffed up beard thick enough to rival Barba’s made him want to be taken on all fours. 

“You should really put on something when you sleep,” Rafael sniped more than a little pettily. Sonny scratched the side of his face and shook his head. 

“Best part about being married is that it means I never have to wear clothes to bed again,” Sonny said with a grin that still carried some sleep in the corners. 

“You could do that single too.” 

“Yeah, but less chance of a morning quickie.” 

Rafael snorted at Sonny’s thought process, and tried to act like he didn’t notice his lover running a hand over the top of the nightstand top. 

Drawing back the delicate paper screen, Rafael stepped into the cypress-perfumed slate bathroom that consisted of a massive glass shower right next to an oversized, square-sided Japanese-style bath. Both of which were placed alongside floor-to-window ceilings overlooking the Imperial Palace Gardens. 

Standing before the shower, Rafael faced the window as he undid the belt of his robe and let it puddle to the floor. Stepping into the cubicle, Rafael was mostly in the dark as he continued to stare out at Tokyo’s shadow architecture.

“Hey.” Sonny shaped the words into the crook of Rafael’s neck as he wrapped his arms around his midsection, hands running through the silk-wire hair. Rafael smelt like the cotton from the sheets, clean, crisp and expensive. 

Turning his head, Rafael caught Sonny’s lips in a kiss, licking the inside of his mouth that tasted faintly of menthol. Any fatigue the older man had felt melting under the flare of Sonny’s attention as he ran a hand briefly over Rafael’s still soft cock. 

He hissed when Sonny turned on the shower, the cold blast of water quickly replaced by heated pulses that saturated the air with steam. Moving their heads so that just their bodies got drenched, Sonny kissed the planes of Rafael’s face, lips skimming over the edge of his beard, following tracks that looked like tears down his cheekbones and the droplets that clung to the curl of his lashes. 

For Sonny, the most harrowing idea was that he would spend any of his life without him.

“Let me wash your hair Sonny,” Rafael murmured into his lover’s ear so that he could be heard over the rush of water. The older man filled his palm with shampoo while Sonny obediently sat down on the stone bench that was opposite where the showerhead was. He tipped his head up, his manner almost docile so that Rafael could lather him up. 

He sat there with closed eyes and a blissed look on his face, his normally slip silk hair plastered and curled against his forehead. Rafael massaged his scalp and wound strands of his hair around his fingers, something he could only do recently, working up a mass of fine foam as the water pounded on his back, protecting Sonny from the spray. 

It had to be one of the sexiest things he had ever done. 

His cock rapidly hardening, Rafael grabbed a handful of Sonny’s hair so he could tip his head back further, exposing his neck and the flutter of his pulse at the base of his throat. He kissed him again as the water continued to pour down, elbows just placed on Sonny’s shoulders as he stood in between his spread legs, welcoming him, welcoming his dick with the tip just grazing his navel. 

Rafael even washed Sonny’s beard, loving how it changed his profile, loving how plush it was against the pads of his fingers even though it was coarser when compared with the hair on his head. 

It didn’t matter, it still felt amazing when Rafael straddled his face. 

“I think I am clean enough Rafi,” Sonny said, and Rafael could feel his smile against his cheek. Stretching out to the side, Sonny trickled body wash into his cupped palms before rubbing his hands together and putting them on Rafael’s chest, soaping up his pectorals, purposefully palming his nipples before trailing down his stomach so he could gently squeeze his balls with slippery fingers. 

Rafael pitched forward so that those hands were now at the small of his back, Sonny’s fingers trailing lower so that could trace the cleft of his ass. 

The heat and the heady smell of rosemary filling the space made Rafael feel lightheaded. He needed to sit down. 

“Let me suck you, want your dick in my mouth,” Rafael said, running his fingers through Sonny’s wet dark hair and ending below his jawline. 

“Sure thing hubby,” Sonny said, drawing out the syllables of the pedestrian nickname. He grinned darkly when Rafael pressed his lips together in disapproval even as his pupils widened at the implied possessiveness, hiding behind the tease.

Switching positions, Rafael sat down and reached for Sonny’s hips only to have him back away. 

“Gotta return the favour,” Sonny said, plunging his sudsy hands into Rafael’s hair that he kept shorn close at the sides these days because it had more streaks of grey in it. All it did though was drive Sonny absolutely nuts, fulfilling every vague daddy fantasy he didn’t even know he had. 

Sonny was aiming to do this quickly, scrubbing at Rafael’s scalp with his fingertips only to jump and let out a gasp when his husband took him into his hand. Blinking, he tried to concentrate on the task only to have his knees go weak when Rafael twisted Sonny’s shaft in his palm on every upstroke. 

“Dirty trick,” Sonny growled, but Rafael was unrepentant, looking at his lover straight in the eye as the taller man tried his best to wash off all the soap, even as Rafael rubbed his knuckles along the prominent vein on the underside of his cock. 

God Sonny had a gorgeous cock, Rafael wondered if he could ask him to pierce it as a birthday present or something. The thought alone made his only dick harden even more and he could feel the pre-cum seep out. 

“I’m done, now what you were saying about blowing me?” Sonny said pointedly looking down at his crotch. Good, Rafael had managed to raise his ire, which in his experience always made for hotter sex. 

But, as with all their games, Rafael couldn’t stop himself from wanting to tap into Sonny’s sweeter side, grabbing his clean hand so he could kiss it, starting from the palm and ending at the small scar on the side of his pinky finger. 

“Again with the dirty tricks,” Sonny said, but his tone was much softer this time. 

Sonny got that when he slammed his fist on a metal filing cabinet out of anger. When he first got to the DAs office, Rafael could see how his passionate husband had to learn a whole new set of emotional barriers to do his duty and protect himself. 

Most were so used to seeing the light beams they ignored the midnight darkness intertwined with it, like barbed hooks. How all the beauty and all his flaws just seeped inside his soul and resided, side-by-side. 

All Rafael could do was support him, scold him, and tell him that he always loved him. 

“Rafael,” he moaned when Rafael sucked a fingertip into his mouth. 

Someone had once told Rafael that they knew Sonny was in love with him by the way he said his name. And in moments like this, it became even more apparent. 

Rafael started when Sonny took his face in his hand and brushed his lips over his nose. 

“Don’t overthink,” Sonny murmured, “you are supposed to be sucking my brains out through my dick here.” 

Rafael chuckled, the darker tang of his memories gone as he finally could bring Sonny closer to him. Like he said, all their best ideas did come from the part of Sonny’s mind that just wanted to get laid. 

Or maybe it was the part of his mind that just wanted them to be together. 

Bowing his head, Rafael finally took Sonny’s cock in his mouth, rubbing his tongue along the sensitive spots, the slit, below the head. Every curl, every flick just made Sonny shiver as Rafael hollowed his cheeks and took him as deep as he could. Bobbing his head back and forth while at the same time jerking him off at the base.

“Love your mouth baby,” Sonny breathed, one hand lightly placed on Rafael’s broad shoulders as the other played with his nipple. 

Rafael could barely hear him but he could _feel_ him, how his body quivered when he did something right. How his cock thickened when Rafael sought out his other sensitive places, like the top of his hip, the inside of his elbow, as his broad hands kneaded Sonny’s ass and bared his hole to the warm air. 

He groaned in disappointment when Sonny took a step back, his cock falling out of Rafael’s mouth with a wet sound. Running the back of his hand over his life, Rafael shot Sonny a glare as the younger man fought to catch his breath. 

“Don’t give me that look, it’s not my fault that you are too good at that,” Sonny said with a defensive pout. He laughed though when Rafael’s expression turned smug, so that he could kiss it. 

Rafael was beyond turned on by now, the taste of his lover prominent on the roof of his mouth. Taking Sonny’s hand, he guided it to his fully erect cock that was pressed against his inner thigh. 

“Touch me Sonny, I need you to touch me,” Rafael said, rolling his hips. 

“Stand up then,” Sonny said urgently. He turned Rafael around once he got to his feet, placed his hands against the wall and kneeled down. Luckily the rubber mat was forgiving to his knees but if he were honest with himself, he barely noticed. 

He spread Rafael open with one hand while keeping the other on his husband’s cock, licking his lips as he saw Rafael’s hole clench. Sonny almost ached to fill it, leaning forward almost desperately so he could run his tongue over the muscle. 

He sucked and licked even as the water continued to beat down on both of their bodies, rivulets trickling down their shoulders in steady streams. Sonny opened Rafael up with his fingers so he could taste deeper, languorously licking him out and turning the skin soft and pliant, a contrast to the almost rough way he was handling Rafael’s prick. 

“Sonny! Yes, be a good boy and eat my ass. Come on,” Rafael called out, the shower acoustics emphasising the mix of admonition and desperation. Sonny sped up his motions, but even through the fog of his pleasure, Rafael could tell that he was holding back, that he was keeping something in the tank. 

Groaning, Rafael arched his back and reached behind to grab Sonny’s head so he could bury his face deeper in his ass. He keened when he felt the repeated brush of Sonny’s beard on the sensitive skin, making it prickle with the heat of his breath. 

“Yes, yes,” Rafael chanted, partly in his head and partly out loud as he chased his orgasm, chased his tipping point. The water inhaled all of their moans, their gasps of pleasure and sounds of slick lips on skin, the origin of the roar in his ears indistinguishable by this point. 

Rafael could feel it, like tendrils curling up from his feet and making his stomach muscles tense. A little more, just a little more and he could…

_Bing!_

Rafael gasped and almost came from the shock if it hadn’t been for Sonny’s hand firmly squeezing the base of his cock. His eyes flew open, angry that his climax had been snatched away from him, turning into pure fury at the calm look on Sonny’s face as beads of water clung to his beard. 

“What the fuck was that?” Rafael snapped, his cock bobbing and twitching, the tip almost a bruised red. 

“The bath is ready,” Sonny said with a smirk. “I set it to autofill while we were in the shower. Join me?” 

“Are you fucking kidding me Sonny? I am so close,” Rafael almost spat, roughly kneading his dick. Thinking that if he touched himself crudely enough that Sonny would falter. 

“You can last a bit longer Rafi, I know you can,” Sonny’s tone carried a harder edge now, the softness that had been in his eyes a minute ago gone and replaced by steel. 

“What if I just finish myself now?” Rafael argued, stubborn as always. Something that neither age nor love would ever change. 

Sonny shrugged. 

“Then finish. Or…” Sonny stepped closer and put a hand on Rafael’s bicep so that he could give it a meaningful squeeze. 

“Or you can ride me in the tub and I will blow your fucking mind. My cock so deep inside you that you can feel it in your throat,” Sonny said, the filth making his voice raspy and sensuous, which made it crack slightly on the last syllable. 

Turning around, Sonny nonchalantly rubbed himself down with a towel as Rafael just stared at him, his jaw clenched tight. A part of Rafael wanted to come just out of spite, a couple more strokes and he would be done and it would give him the satisfaction of coolly leaving Sonny to fend for himself in the tub. 

But it warred with the part of him that knew exactly what Sonny was offering. Not all orgasms were not created equal and while getting himself off by his own hand would be pleasurable, he knew that coming clenched around the girth of Sonny’s dick, hammering his prostate, was like nothing else. 

Biting the inner part of his lower lip, Rafael closed his eyes as he emptied his mind, focusing on pulling his desire back from the brink. Breathing slowly, he reached for a towel to fling over his shoulder because frankly he didn’t trust anything near his dick right now. 

He heard the soft drip, drip of water coming off his husband’s body as he plodded around the tub, the proud jut of his erection belying his casual motions. Followed by a muted splash as he slid into the tub so that the water came up to his chest. 

Swallowing hard, Rafael instead concentrated on washing his face over the sink and taking a quick gargle of mouthwash. 

Counting to ten, Rafael finally, _finally_ , slowly turned around, his ego appeased enough to allow him to join Sonny in the bath. 

“Hey babe,” Sonny said, sounding almost aloof as Rafael stepped in the bath. But there was more insistence to his actions now, pulling himself up so he could perch at the edge of the tub with only his legs submerged up to the knee. 

“Prick,” Rafael answered, his tone matching Sonny’s as he straddled his knees so that he was right about his cock. 

Laughing under his breath, Sonny tore open several multicoloured cellophane sachets of lube, courtesy of the love hotel, which he had placed there earlier. When he thought he had enough, he reached behind Rafael so he could finger him while he was standing. 

“I don’t need much prep Sonny, I am ready,” Rafael urged, grabbing the back of Sonny’s head so he could bring it to his chest. The skin around his nipples was already chafed and tender from repeated whisker burns from Sonny’s beard and the younger man felt the almost feral need to add more marks. 

Burying his face deeper, Sonny chased the droplets of water that traced Rafael’s sternum, while at the same time opening him up around three fingers. 

“See, that wasn’t so hard,” Sonny said huskily. “Well, I don’t know if hard is the…” 

Rafael stopped him with a rough kiss. 

“Shut up and fuck me,” he growled. Even though wet from the shower, Rafael could still taste him, musk, saline, and warm skin. 

One pull and Rafael was on Sonny’s lap, lining up his cock with his hole, tracing it around the rim before leaning back. 

“Fuck,” he muttered, feeling the familiar stretch of his body around Sonny’s dick, the sensation made more intense by the strain in his thighs. 

“Yeah Rafi, get on my dick. Get on my dick baby, you feel amazing,” Sonny said, steadying Rafael by the biceps, throwing his head back in a moan when he slid down completely. 

After a couple of shallow thrusts, Rafael moved until he was practically bouncing on Sonny’s lap, grinding his hips in a circle as he tried to get back to his previous state, gripped so strongly by his urge to come that he was practically breathless. 

He was almost there, the heat slick and slippery as it built inside him. Rafael could see the flush in Sonny’s skin deepening, his lips bruised as he repeatedly bit them so he wouldn’t come too soon. 

It took all of Sonny’s strength to keep them both upright as he railed Rafael as hard as he could. Thrusting his hips up as Rafael slammed down so that he was buried as deep as he physically could be. 

There was no way that they could keep up this brutal pace for much longer, and Rafael soon gripped his cock and started flicking his thumb over the slippery head. 

“Coming, Sonny!” 

Sonny’s eyes flew open as Rafael curved his back with his mouth open in a loud moan that bounced off the corners, his cum pooling and streaking all over his husband's stomach. It made his vision shift out of focus as he just kept coming in small shock, twitching as it made him fall apart. 

But it wasn’t the glorious sight of Rafael’s climax that made Sonny freeze. It was his silhouette against the modern city that made Sonny feel a potent mix of lust and adoration. His classically handsome husband, so voluptuously tender-bellied and yet so strong at the same time, looking at him like he was either going to give him a command or beg him to bring him to completion, over and over again. 

Sonny would have happily dropped to his knees and given him both. He wouldn’t even have to ask. 

That was the last thought Sonny had before thrusting up one more time and coming hard, filling Rafael full of warm spunk, the heat almost as scorching as the inside of his body. Sonny reflexively gave a couple more thrusts and groaned when he felt hot traces of cum leak out of Rafael and flecked his thighs. 

For a few minutes they clung to each other as they tried to gain back some sense of balance, Sonny happily tucking his face into the dip of Rafael’s shoulders as he still tried to taste any skin he could. 

“What a waste of a bath.” 

Of course it was Rafael that spoke first, and of course it was some smart ass remark. Rolling his eyes Sonny moved back so that he could look at Rafael’s face. 

“Not by my standards,” Sonny said cockily, running his fingers through the mess on his stomach and deliberately licking them one-by-one. Rafael tried to look unperturbed but the ever so slight dilation in his pupils gave him away. 

But there was no mistaking the tenderness of his kiss on Sonny’s forehead, and the oddly comforting graze of his beard as he traced his lips over the younger man’s brow bone. 

After cleaning up again, the process this time more perfunctory, Sonny almost crawled back to the bed as fatigue hit him like a truck, collapsing in a gawky, angular pile. 

Rafael in contrast was wide awake and craving something warm to drink. Grabbing a dry robe, he belted it tight as he put on a pair of slippers so he could make a quick trip to the vending machine corner tucked away at the end of the hallway. 

It was his new favourite thing now, Japanese vending machines. Not only were they everywhere, but they also served surprisingly above average coffee that came piping hot in screw top aluminium bottles. It also paired amazingly well with the exclusive Kit Kat Sonny had insisted they pick up at the airport, mostly because it was gold and shiny. 

Rafael sighed and shook his head as he bit into the caramel base. Sometimes, he swore he had married a magpie.

To this day though, he never figured out why the Kit Kats, why Sonny had suddenly decided to offer one to him unprompted. And yet, he never really wanted to ask, preferring instead to see it his way. 

A gift, from a really nice guy, who Barba knew he liked the first time he had sassed him back. 

“You want some of this Sonny?” Rafael asked, sinking into the bed and brushing his lover’s hair back. Without opening his eyes, Sonny shook his head and planted his face deeper into his pillow making some indiscernible noise Rafael chose not to interpret. 

“Well we have a full day tomorrow. Lots of eating places for some reason,” Rafael frowned, “and don’t think I didn’t notice you putting a pizza parlour on the list. No Sonny.” 

Sonny chuckled at how easily he had been thwarted. It made Rafael wonder if he would eventually be ending the day with a slice of pizza in his hand. 

“I wish we could stay here forever,” Sonny mumbled, cracking one eye open as if to plead with Rafael to grant his wish. 

Rafael didn’t answer immediately, feeling contemplative as the coffee warmed him from the inside, closing it tight so he could lay down beside Sonny. He watched him as his features started to relax, hair fanned out over the pillow. His eyes a flickering blue flame in the dark. 

“Yeah me too.” 

***

**The End**

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs used in this fic: 
> 
> i. **New York** ~ **St Vincent feat. Yoshiki**  
>  ii. **Fate** ~ **L’Arc-en-Ciel** (from the album **Heart** )


End file.
